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How to Overcome a Confidence Crisis. Category: Personal Growth

As a business success coach I have worked with many people who consider themselves successful and who are considered successful by their peers. No matter how much you earn, how fast you find yourself on the right track, or how often people compliment and congratulate you and your work, you can have a confidence crisis. Even people with high self-esteem and self-confidence can suffer from a confidence crash. Sometimes, things happen that knock the confidence right out of us.

A confidence crisis can be caused by normal life transition such as getting a new job, moving to a new city, starting a new business, or starting a new relationship. Life's losses can also cause confidence to sink - the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, the loss of a big client, the loss of a dream we come to realize will never happen.

At times, our confidence is already shaky as a result of a transition or loss and a single incident like missing a deadline, getting a bad haircut, or spilling coffee on a document can send us storming out of the confidence cafe.

When you crash, it is usually because your daily diet of life has not included enough confidence causing foods. Confidence is like Vitamin C. You need it in your diet. Your body can only store it for a short time before it needs some more. You have to take responsibility for planning your confidence meals and making sure you have large enough portions.

When you have a confidence crisis, don't despair, don't reach for the bottle of bourbon or the bon bons. Instead, start to use some of these confidence-boosting techniques. Begin with at least two, then add a third and a fourth. You will gain a lot more than confidence - you will learn to love, honor and appreciate yourself more and more.

Keep a Journal

Keeping a journal is a great way to process, and clarify your feelings. Forcing yourself to write everyday also forces you to take time for daily reflection. Daily reflection can help you solidify what you know, what you have learned, and what you still need to pay attention to.

Show Gratitude

Practice gratitude - be thankful for what you already have and put your attention on all the blessings you already possess. Keep a gratitude section in your journal. Everyday write down five things you are thankful for. This will help you feel richer and stronger in character and that translates into confidence.

Use Affirmations Affirmations work. Write a list of statements that say what you want and how you want to be in life such as, "I get more confident everyday" "new clients come to me easily", "I am an expert at what I do". State all affirmations in the present. Some people stand in front of a mirror and say them. I also encourage you to record them and play the tape over and over. Read your affirmations at least once a day.

Evaluate Your Relationships

Assess the relationships in your life. Do they support you or sabotage you? All relationships change with time; some get better, some get worse. If you have relationships in your life that are more of a burden then a joy, it may be time to sever your ties - or at least loosen the reins.

Start New Relationships

Identify people that have the qualities you admire - people you feel you could learn from and who could learn from you, as well. Look for people you can have fun with. Boosting your confidence can be really fun, if you want it to be.

Get into a Good Group

This may be time for a traditional support group. Chatting over a cup of carrot juice with your pals might be a remedy. Organize your own group of confidence boosters and support each other in making changes.

Change Your Behavior

What do you do that boosts your confidence and what do you do that brings it down. Exercise, getting enough sleep, speaking your mind and dressing well are behaviors that tend to boost confidence. Staying up late, spending all your time with Ben and Jerry, and saying "yes" to avoid confrontation when you really want to say "no" will bring your confidence down.

Speak Up

When we withhold communication because we are afraid of how we will be received, we chip away another bit of our confidence. Share your thoughts, opinions, and preferences. Speak up in all situations. The insignificant situations will be practice for the important occasions that are sure to follow.

Take a Risk A Day

A risk is something you would do in an instant if you knew you would be successful. It is the fact that you do not know how it will turn out that makes it a risk. The best way to bolster your confidence is to start doing things you are afraid to do. Make a list of risks for you and start to do them one by one.

Sometimes, it takes a few days to boost your confidence, sometimes, it takes a few weeks. Occasionally it can take a few months to overcome a confidence crisis. Know that if you are consistent with your confidence boosting techniques, you will eventually find yourself renewed, stronger, and more confident.

About the author: Caterina Rando, MA, MCC, helps people create the results they want with ease. She is a success speaker, master certified coach and author of the award winning national best-seller "Learn to Power Think." To find out about her book, free e-zine, free articles and other resources, visit http://www.caterinar.com. Caterina can also be reached by email at cpr@caterinar.com.

Readers' comments
This is one of those times in my life. I am going to try your suggestions. I do not understand what is happening to me. It is almost as though I went out to play golf a year ago, and began to do weird things, for me at least. Now, I seem afraid of my job, one that I have been quite successful doing for more than 25 years. Thanks for the suggestions
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Your article has given me hope. I've been having a confidence problem for over two years now, and after I read your suggestions I think I can overcome it. Writing this message is a risk for me, but I am forcing myself to do it! Hopefully everything will only get better from now on. Thank you for taking the time to write such a helpful article.
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mess up they need to cooperate with the Congress to provide the documents and the witnesses so that we have a clear understanding of what happened and whos responsibleThis part of the interview never aired but CNBC did release which makes it fair game for fact checkingThe problem in this case is that the day before the interview to Rep Mike Rogers (R-Mich) for making similar statements about when the White House staff knew about the IRS targeting of conservative groups (It was three weeks not "months and months") Boehner spokesman Brendan Buck conceded that Boehners remarks were "overstated"So we were reluctant to flog the same horse twice in the same week The rest of Boehners comments were a bit too obscure For instance the reference to blocking access to witnesses apparently was intended to refer to something broader not just the IRS probe but other congressional investigations such as the inquiry into the Benghazi attackIt might have made a worthy fact check But we chose to take a 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