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How to Overcome a Confidence Crisis. Category: Personal Growth

As a business success coach I have worked with many people who consider themselves successful and who are considered successful by their peers. No matter how much you earn, how fast you find yourself on the right track, or how often people compliment and congratulate you and your work, you can have a confidence crisis. Even people with high self-esteem and self-confidence can suffer from a confidence crash. Sometimes, things happen that knock the confidence right out of us.

A confidence crisis can be caused by normal life transition such as getting a new job, moving to a new city, starting a new business, or starting a new relationship. Life's losses can also cause confidence to sink - the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, the loss of a big client, the loss of a dream we come to realize will never happen.

At times, our confidence is already shaky as a result of a transition or loss and a single incident like missing a deadline, getting a bad haircut, or spilling coffee on a document can send us storming out of the confidence cafe.

When you crash, it is usually because your daily diet of life has not included enough confidence causing foods. Confidence is like Vitamin C. You need it in your diet. Your body can only store it for a short time before it needs some more. You have to take responsibility for planning your confidence meals and making sure you have large enough portions.

When you have a confidence crisis, don't despair, don't reach for the bottle of bourbon or the bon bons. Instead, start to use some of these confidence-boosting techniques. Begin with at least two, then add a third and a fourth. You will gain a lot more than confidence - you will learn to love, honor and appreciate yourself more and more.

Keep a Journal

Keeping a journal is a great way to process, and clarify your feelings. Forcing yourself to write everyday also forces you to take time for daily reflection. Daily reflection can help you solidify what you know, what you have learned, and what you still need to pay attention to.

Show Gratitude

Practice gratitude - be thankful for what you already have and put your attention on all the blessings you already possess. Keep a gratitude section in your journal. Everyday write down five things you are thankful for. This will help you feel richer and stronger in character and that translates into confidence.

Use Affirmations Affirmations work. Write a list of statements that say what you want and how you want to be in life such as, "I get more confident everyday" "new clients come to me easily", "I am an expert at what I do". State all affirmations in the present. Some people stand in front of a mirror and say them. I also encourage you to record them and play the tape over and over. Read your affirmations at least once a day.

Evaluate Your Relationships

Assess the relationships in your life. Do they support you or sabotage you? All relationships change with time; some get better, some get worse. If you have relationships in your life that are more of a burden then a joy, it may be time to sever your ties - or at least loosen the reins.

Start New Relationships

Identify people that have the qualities you admire - people you feel you could learn from and who could learn from you, as well. Look for people you can have fun with. Boosting your confidence can be really fun, if you want it to be.

Get into a Good Group

This may be time for a traditional support group. Chatting over a cup of carrot juice with your pals might be a remedy. Organize your own group of confidence boosters and support each other in making changes.

Change Your Behavior

What do you do that boosts your confidence and what do you do that brings it down. Exercise, getting enough sleep, speaking your mind and dressing well are behaviors that tend to boost confidence. Staying up late, spending all your time with Ben and Jerry, and saying "yes" to avoid confrontation when you really want to say "no" will bring your confidence down.

Speak Up

When we withhold communication because we are afraid of how we will be received, we chip away another bit of our confidence. Share your thoughts, opinions, and preferences. Speak up in all situations. The insignificant situations will be practice for the important occasions that are sure to follow.

Take a Risk A Day

A risk is something you would do in an instant if you knew you would be successful. It is the fact that you do not know how it will turn out that makes it a risk. The best way to bolster your confidence is to start doing things you are afraid to do. Make a list of risks for you and start to do them one by one.

Sometimes, it takes a few days to boost your confidence, sometimes, it takes a few weeks. Occasionally it can take a few months to overcome a confidence crisis. Know that if you are consistent with your confidence boosting techniques, you will eventually find yourself renewed, stronger, and more confident.

About the author: Caterina Rando, MA, MCC, helps people create the results they want with ease. She is a success speaker, master certified coach and author of the award winning national best-seller "Learn to Power Think." To find out about her book, free e-zine, free articles and other resources, visit http://www.caterinar.com. Caterina can also be reached by email at cpr@caterinar.com.


Readers' comments
This is one of those times in my life. I am going to try your suggestions. I do not understand what is happening to me. It is almost as though I went out to play golf a year ago, and began to do weird things, for me at least. Now, I seem afraid of my job, one that I have been quite successful doing for more than 25 years. Thanks for the suggestions
-by Sterling Smith
Your article has given me hope. I've been having a confidence problem for over two years now, and after I read your suggestions I think I can overcome it. Writing this message is a risk for me, but I am forcing myself to do it! Hopefully everything will only get better from now on. Thank you for taking the time to write such a helpful article.
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medical exams and future research-but questions remain about how the decision will impact the game, 3, published May 30 2013Sen Ted Cruz (R-Tex) offered this statistic as one of the reasons why he pushed an alternative to the Manchin-Toomey legislation to tighten background checks (Both failed to get enough votes to emerge from the Senate) As he put it "the Obama administration has not made it a priority to prosecute felons and fugitives who try to illegally buy guns"We had previously examined one of Cruzs other reasons which because he placed a partisan frame on the data But we hadnt seen this statistic before How does this hold upThe FactsCruz drew this statistic from by Syracuse Universitys Transactional Records Access Clearinghouse (TRAC) which documented how prosecutions of weapons violations have shifted up and down sometimes in dramatic fashion since 1986 The report showed that prosecutions had fallen from a high of 11015 in 2004 to 7774 in 2012 for a decline of 29 percentSo thats where Cruz gets his figure But note that once again he places it in a highly partisan frame that the Obama Justice Department "has decreased" the prosecutions But Cruz is comparing the last year of Obamas first term with the high point of Bushs presidency which was reached in his first term It turns out that weapons prosecutions started to tumble in Bushs second termComparing 2012 to 2008 Bushs last year the decline is just 8 percent If you compare an average of Bushs eight years with an average of Obamas four years that shows a decline of 15 percent In other words Cruz is stacking the deckBut the TRAC report raises serious questions about whether the data are even relevant as a measure of presidential performance Thats because many weapons crimes can be prosecuted either under state/local laws or under federal laws Far more weapons cases are handled by state and local prosecutors and "sometimes the decision of which jurisdiction state or federal will prosecute a gun offense depends upon the specifics of the laws including which one calls for a longer prison sentence" the report saysIn other words the number of federal cases depends a lot on the interaction with state and local prosecutions which may have little to do with an administrations prioritiesOne possible test of an administrations priorities is the percentage of cases it chooses not to prosecute Here Obama does slightly better than Bush according to Over Obamas first term federal prosecutors declined to prosecute an annual average of 341 percent compared to 376 percent for Bush Bush managed to get the number down over the course of his presidency but comparing 2004 to 2012 as Cruz does the difference is even greater Prosecutors declined 382 percent of cases in 2004 compared to 325 percent in 2012TRAC shows virtually no difference in the length of a median prison term given under either president "This isnt about comparing the two administrations to make a political argument" said Cruz spokeswoman 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only onceMoreover this figure appears to say little about administration priorities given that the numbers depend in part on decisions by non-federal prosecutors In cases when federal prosecutors have decided whether to act on a referral the data show that Obamas record actually is better than BushsThree Pinocchios ()Check out our candidate Follow The Fact Checker on and friend us on said that Obama was "more imprecise than dishonest.Basically what Obama did was a little sidestep and Charlie never came back to it at all"Politicians sidestep uncomfortable questions all the time Bunting pointed us to the classic song "The Sidestep" from the musical "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas"sung after the governor skillfully avoids reporters questionsBoehner and the IRS probeIn this case the House Speaker made three apparently incorrect comments during the course of an interview on CNBC Here is the relevant part of the transcript with the questionable passages highlightedMARIA BARTIROMO: What about the IRS A lot of people are upset this targeting of groups that they dont agree with their politics You said recently its inconceivable the president did not know about the IRS targeting conservative groups Do you still believe that with the evidence unfoldingBOEHNER: No I how do your entire senior staff know about this for months and months and its never mentioned to the president It wouldnt happen in my operationthats why I think its inconceivable We -- our job is to get to the truth Its clear that this didnt start with a group of rogue agents in Cincinnati Its pretty clear now more evidence coming out that Washington did in fact know about itSenior Treasury officials have now admitted that they knew about this problem over a year ago Why werent we notified Why wasnt corrective action taken The president and the administration doing everything they can to block access to witnesses -- to shut down and not turn over documents If they want to get this out of the way and clean this mess up they need to cooperate with the Congress to provide the documents and the witnesses so that we have a clear understanding of what happened and whos responsibleThis part of the interview never aired but CNBC did release which makes it fair game for fact checkingThe problem in this case is that the day before the interview to Rep Mike Rogers (R-Mich) for making similar statements about when the White House staff knew about the IRS targeting of conservative groups (It was three weeks not "months and months") Boehner spokesman Brendan Buck conceded that Boehners remarks were "overstated"So we were reluctant to flog the same horse twice in the same week The rest of Boehners comments were a bit too obscure For instance the reference to blocking access to witnesses apparently was intended to refer to something broader not just the IRS probe but other congressional investigations such as the inquiry into the Benghazi attackIt might have made a worthy fact check But we chose to take a 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